dear wl: valentines day

no one reads these blogs, no one i know knows i have a blog and i dont say anything of any importance anyway.

dear w,
its nearly valentines day. which kinda means its nearly been a year since i first loved you. it means its been nearly a year of heartbreak.

do you remember when we first met?
i sure do
it was some time
in early september

though you were lazy about it
you made me wait around
i was so crazy about you
i didnt mind

i want to give you something for valentines day, but i know you'll know if i send anything, and i have no way of sending it anyway.and i dont know what to give you. i was thinking a cd of all the songs that i relate to you, but i listen to bands no one else i know really listens to, so that'd be a dead giveaway. i could just do the more generic songs, i suppose.
i dont want you to know it was me, but i still want to give you something.

I've got emotion
Dripping out my pores and I
Thought I would let you know
You are the night light,
Ripping through my wicked world
How you make it sparkle and glow,
Before I lose control
There's just one thing you should know

This is for real, this time I mean it
I'm coming clean, please don't let go
I said from the start, that you could take it or leave it
Prefer that you keep it
Don't let go
Don't let go
Don't let go

i still want to be able to tell you how i feel, through my own mouth and not through the mouths of others.
i want to know why we broke up.
i saw you yesterday. ab, ly and i were just a little ahead of you. and try as i might, i couldnt help looking at you once i was sitting facing the back. i watched you for most of the ride, and i looked away whenever you looked at me. i cant tell if you want amanda or not. you seem to get on so well
but its different to how we got on. it looks better. but i suppose the grass is always greener and all that.
i dont know if i prefer it this way, sneaking glances at you, watching your life happen without me, or not talking to you at all, knowing nothing about you, and forcing myself to guess.
coz every time i think im over you
i see you again, and its back.

You mean to me..
What, I mean to you and..
Together baby,
There is nothing we won't do
Cuz if I got chu,
I don't need money,
I don't need cars,
Girl, you're my aall.
And..

Oh!
I'm into you,
And
No..one else would do,
with every kiss and every hug,
You make me, fall in love,
And now I..know I can be the only one,
I bet its heart's all over the world tonight,
With the love of they life, who feel..
Wat I feel when I'm..
with you.

do you remember that?
do you?

i want to talk to you again. i want to take you to my formal. i want to be able to joke with you like she does. i want to know exactly what you're thinking and i want to feel you next to me, even when we're apart. i want you in my heart and i want to be in yours.
and ab spoke to you. she can be so friggin unsubtle.
i had the best times wih you and i want you to know, even though it hurts so much now, it was worth it. my memories, are worth every second of the pain even if sometimes i dont think so.

It's been a year filled with problems
But now you're here, almost as if to solve them
I can't live in a world without you now
All my life I've been searching for you
How did I survive in this world before you?
Cause I don't want to live another day without you now

Always knew I'd find someone
I never dreamt it'd be like this
Cause you've surpassed all that I've hoped for and ever wished
And I'm trying so hard with all my heart and mind
To make your life as good as you've made mine

i would, and you should know it. what would be amazing is if you ever read this