i spend all my time on here whining about w, when he's just one person in my life. i have decided to use the next few posts to appreciate everyone else, that i can remember, who dont spend their time making me feel miserable.

my best friend is mw. M that is her. she is awesome. we actually do stick together through thick and thin, and she possibly knows the most about me. she's obviously the more gorgeous, outgoing and funny one of us two, so all the guys love her, but i love her like my own sister. we go shopping together, we ride together, we stay on the phone for literally HOURS together, we swim, we sleep, we make up stupid games and poems, and even when she's been over for two days and a night and we have nothing left to say or do, we still seem to come up with something.
like one time, we were camping in my room (i know, but it was raining outside) and we had the sleeping bags out. so we were lying on them, coz they were really squishy and comfy, and a feather was blowing around. and so i blew it to her, then her to me, and thus the sport of feather tennis was born. we did that for two hours.
MiloKid
that's my favourite picture of us, at my bowling party. it was fluoro, wooo, coz on saturday's they used to put on the UV light things that made white and fluoro things glow.
we went on outward bound together, and that was tough for most friends that went together, but it just made us appreciate eachother even more. eight days of hiking and camping under a thin plastic tarp really bring it back to reality.
i have to admit, seeing as no one knows about this blog, and even if they do, they wont find it, that i am quite jealous of her.
her two sisters are awesome, like not even kidding. her elder one just turned eighteen and is the same height as me and mw, so she lends us clothes, and bras, and shoes and everything we want. she is like, hippy, and she is the awesomest. her little sister is hilarious. she is really arty, she usually has paint stains on har hands and clothes, her hair pushed back with a headband, different coloured nailpolish and some great project 'i just have to finish quickly, like, now'. she makes the funniest things, like handcuffs with feather boas as her friend's christmas presents. and yes, she is in fact turning fourteen in may.
but what im most jealous of mw is how incredibly gorgeous she is.
when all my friends go out in a group with the guys,and some of their boyfriends, mw is the centre of attention. everyone wants to talk to her, to walk next to her, to be seen with her. i do love it that despite that, she usually chooses to talk to me. she had a boyfriend, called aj, who was completely in love with her, he'd buy her flowers on every one of their month's, and just whenever. she broke up with him though, but they are still like besties. then along came nn, a guy in the year above us, who, i dunno, its like she's leading him on, but she wouldnt do that. he's asked her out so many times, but she just wont. she goes OUT with him though, and like, when they last went to the movies and my friend lj asked if he had made a move on her, she was like, 'oh, we only snuggled a little, not really.' yet she doesnt want him to think she likes him, coz apparently she doesnt. AND, a month after she broke up with aj, while nn was still in love with her, she hooked up with a guy called lh. which is completely unlike her. i like, would never have imagined it.
anyway, everyone thinks she's gorgeous. she was one of the two of my friends that i let meet w, coz i knew she wouldnt be stupid about it. i dont mean to drag a perfectly happy blog into depression, and i'm not, i think its good to remember though, w was the only guy i knew who i could honestly say preferred me to her.
anyway, she is awesome. but she's away at th moment and i really need to talk to her, so dont know what to do. i guess i'll have to wait til she gets back to call her...

this is millie doing her zoolander face
Zoolander

the next is bl. he is k's best friend's brother, and he's a year younger than me, but he's six two and so its like he's the same age. he can be a complete prick to his sister, in fact to most people, but to me he is the most awesome friend and support i could ask for. he changes his girlfriends more than he changes underwear- three in the past two weeks- but he's really been the only one i knew i could turn to about w without him judging me.
i feel like such a slut, actually. i didnt DO anything, it was more what was going through my mind, and what i wanted to do.
yesterday i was over at his, and he has this giant double bed in his room. we were both lying on it watching a movie (bear in mind he does have a girlfriend at the moment) and we were pretty much almost touching. and i was all upset coz something reminded me of w, so i leaned over and was pretty much resting on him- my head on his shoulder, his arm round my shoulder and one of my hands on his chest.
then somehow, we ended up wrestling, i think it was over his drumsticks, and we ended up with me lying on the bed looking up at him, his hands on either side of my head and my legs spread wide open. and we were just lying there and i put my hand up and i was touching his face, and running my finger down a line of moles he has on the side of his face. then i stopped i was so scared coz he has been such an amazing friend to me, so why was i doing that? i couldnt bear to lose him by doing something stupid. and he wasnt trying anything on me. but i actually wanted something to happen so badly, it was freaking me out.
so i grabbed the drumstick and started hitting him with it, and it all went back to normal.
but later on we were playing guitar hero, and i am solid gold CRAP at guitar hero. and i was stuffing up the easiest song, so like a friend he had put his arms around me from behind, coz i was like leaning back on him, and played it for me. but after the song was over he still had his arms there and i just leaned back into him and we sat there for a while. in the end we were just lying on his bed, him behind me with his arms around me, and i wanted so SO much for something to happen, again. it was just so wierd, because i dont like him like that. i think its because he gets me through so much, and he is such a supportive, amazing friend, i rely on him so much. i wish i could tell him how important he is to me.
but sometimes he can be a complete arse and then i hate him and wonder why i even like him.
double edged sword much?
his ex girlfriend is a complete bitch. yesterday she called him up and was like 'i just took a pregnancy test. i think i am pregnant, like actually. i'm waiting for the results now.' and he was completely freaking out and then she goes 'haha just joking, i got my period already'
what kind of tool does that? but after stuff like that he gets angry, and i can only calm him down if i'm there. so i was pretty useless.

anyway, i think i've written enough, and i have to go and do some work on my foal. he's called buzz, and he's actually two, but has the maturity of a carrot.

IBuzz and Brydey
this is him when he was, like, two or three weeks old